6 months went by quick.

Wednesday 25th:
Finishing up 6mo temp this Friday and already have a job lined up for Monday. I have accepted more hours in Boys and Girls Club, Mon-Fri 2.45pm-6pm (+Improv/Comedy class). Quite nice since I will still have my mornings to myself and would be able to accomplish whatever needs to be done, maybe even painting. 

Have been training the new guy with stability techniques. He's friendly and asks many questions, which is great. 

Few of Michelle's nurse friends came by our place to hang out because it was their last orientation day. From now on, Michelle makes her own schedule and is a legit nurse on duty. A little scary but awesome at the same time. They later went out for to a bar, but i stayed home, didn't feel like listening to them talking about nurse stuff. I just can't contribute nor can I understand most of what they're talking about. Sorry :)

Thursday:
Made few Gels with my manager. Formulation is somewhat tedious, because there are many places to mess up. At the same time, if all things done correctly, you get a real product at the end. It's worth it, but obviously it's not the type of work I'd be interested in doing in the long run.

Friday:
My last day at Unilever, had to submit the badge and everything. It was somewhat surreal, trying to realize that I am not going to see the same people all the time, won't do the same tasks, or be in the same environment. Interesting stuff. 

October, two weeks in, i suggested I'd be training a temp upon my leave, and it did happen. I trained Joe D. He and Sunita P. should take care of Stability just fine. These are the kinds of books I was reading and places I went to just 6months ago. I strongly believe in Reflection, and knowing one self. This is one of key aspect of wisdom. 

Art came by our place for some homemade Chicken Marsala, courtesy of the young spirited, horse riding Michelle. We engaged in conversations, and played yet another game of Mario Party 6. The game we played has been enjoyed for numerous hours, but never at our new place on Nash ln. Sprinkle a little change in the old routine. 

Rained all Sunday. Pleasant, always soothing.

(improv, substituting) Do not worry about new challenges, everything was overcame prior.  New challenges will let me grow and become more capable. New situations will also have new connections and links to things I haven't imagined to exist. Life is tenfold more complicated than I can understand. I don't even know myself and what I am capable of until I'm in the situation, having to perform. I must not fear, but embrace the unknown headfirst. Ask myself: "What do I have to gain form the situation?" 

SUCCESS: what am I really working toward (as suppose to what i think society expects of me). What is my success story? 

Had a great first meeting with my mentor. I'm glad things are finally moving into the direction of a new relationship being made. We're covered some basics of my expectations and a quick story of my life, and he mentioned some stuff too. He is very open and honest, and does not deny all the shit that happened to him or what he got himself into, which makes him a great example of how to live life. I am really looking forward to getting to know him more and allowing him to get to know me. We're both open-book type of persons, so it's only a matter of time. 

Life is full of opportunities, and often we must create them out of the current situations. My mentorship was created, not stumbled upon.

Cooked some muffins for the first time. Made some with blueberry/blackberry and the other with rhubarb/strawberry. Topped with pecans/walnuts/chocolate.

 The two separate dough

 Once cooked:

 Michelle and I went for a walk and this time we remembered (i remembered) a camera and we did some snaps of our faces. Some turned out good.

 This is the place we're living in now. Our apartment is bottom right of the house.

 And these are Zoey and Zelda, the cats, who are pretty chill to live with. They're almost no rouble except breaking some things and trying to wake us up by geting into the room. The door now has a latch. Ha! Take that, cats.

4 days of solitude

4 days when Michelle is Gettysberg, visiting a friend. I stayed at home and guarded the catfood.

Another great TED talk
We expect more from technology and less from each other.
Technology appeals to us most where we are most vulnerable
We're lonely but we're afraid of intimacy.

An old poem I used to recite at camp when I was about 10. In front of the whole camp (more than 150people). I guess I was never worried about what people thought about me in a way that would stifle my expressionistic tendencies.

Бездомная кошка

Однажды я встретил бездомную кошку:
- Как Ваши дела?
- Ничего, понемножку...
- Я слышал, что Вы тяжело заболели...
- Болела.
- Так, значит, лежали в постели?
- Лежала на улице много недель -
Бездомной, мне некуда ставить постель.
Подумал я: "Странно, что в мире огромном
Нет места собакам и кошкам бездомным."
- Вы слышите, кошка? Пойдёмте со мной -
Темнеет, и значит, пора нам домой!
Мы шли с ней по улице гордо и смело -
Я молча, а кошка тихонечко пела.
О чем она пела? Возможно, о том,
Что каждому нужен свой собственный дом.

Алексей Дмитриев

Fun Fact: Aphis is  тля. surprisingly, i discovered both words due to lady bug. I learned when i was younger that божья коровка eats тля. I am researching lady bugs for a painting and found one picture with it eating a tiny green insect. Aphis is the name of it. I came to the same word in two different languages in the same way. I wonder how many words we learn by associating them with other words. Researched some grass outside our place to, to see what it looks like damaged. (i e imperfect) Turns out, obviously now, its fiberious and hairlike. 

Mindfulness Meditaiton

From the book “The Social Animal: the hidden sources of love, character and achievement”

Mindfulness meditation

At first, I concentrate on my breathing, anticipating the exhaling and inhaling, and then feeling my body fulfilling my anticipations. I feel my nostrils open and close and my chest rise and fall. Then. I center my thoughts on word of phrase. I don’t repeat it over and over again, I just keep it in the front of my mind and if I find my thoughts wondering I bring them back. Some people pick Jesus, or God, or Buddha, or Adunai, but I just picked ‘diving within’. Then I watch what feelings and perceptions and images flow into my brain, letting the experience unfold naturally. It’s like sitting still, as various thoughts merge into consciousness. Often, in the beginning, I lose focus. Find myself thinking about my chores or the emails I have to answer.
            That’s when I repeat my phrase. After a little while, most of the time, the outside world begins to melt into the shadows. I don’t even have to repeat the phrase anymore. I don’t know how to describe it; I begin to be aware of awareness. My identity, my I-ness, fades away. And I enter the sensations and feelings that are bubbling up from down below. The object is to welcome them, non-judgmentally, without interpreting them, just welcoming them as friends. Welcome them with a smile. One of my teachers compares it to watching clouds, drifting into the valley. These puffs of awareness float by, and they are replaced by other puffs and other mental states. It’s like having access to the processes that are there all along, but are usually unseen. I’m not doing a good job putting it into words, because the whole point is, that it is beneath words. When I try to describe it, it seems stale and conceptual, but when I’m in that state, there is no narrator, there is no interpreter, there are no words. I’m not really aware of time. I’m not telling myself as story about myself - the play-by-play announcer is gone. It’s all sensations happening. Does that make any sense?

When I come out of it, I’m changed. I see the world differently. Daniel Segal says: “It’s like you have been walking through a forest at night, shining a flashlight to light your way. Suddenly, you turn of the flashlight. You lose the bright beam of light in a narrow spot. But gradually, your eyes start to adjust to the darkness, and you can suddenly see the whole scene.”

I used to assume that my emotions were me. But now, I sort of observe them rising and going through me. You realize that things you thought were your identity are really just experiences. There are sensations that float through you. You begin to see that your ordinary ways of perceiving are only a few vantage points among many. There are other ways of seeing. You develop what the Buddhists call ‘beginner’s mind’; you see the world as a baby sees it, aware of everything all at once, without conscious selection and interpretation.  

- - -

This is certainly a great piece describing the ways of meditation, which i have been practicing for a while now. I love the new perspective i gain upon coming back from 20+ minutes of trance. it's rejuvenating and the definition of the word awesome. 

Can't stop listening to this song,

Over and over again i enjoy singing this in my mind to myself. Found a video, the song got a whole new meaning, like when the guy in this video gets his face painted, you accept and see him in a very different, a whole new way.

Third of April, whaaat?

Reflection: April 9th, whoa that sneaked up on me a little. I haven't reflected in few days and all of a sudden it's 1/3 of April. I imagine for people who barely reflect they have feelings of all of a sudden it's Summer, or all of a sudden it's New Years. he trick is to stay present, because time is only fleeing if it's not observed. 

Consistency beats any odds. If I start doing a small change and try it every day, even if i fail 2-3 times a week, I am still ahead of where I would have been had i not started at all. The reality is: "A Little Bit Every Single Day is better than Something Big Once a Week" (The Skool of Life). 

What am I struggling right now is applying myself for Teacher Certificate and getting into the whole Masters Degree for Teaching. How much do i know about it? not much, really. I'm only relying on the things I know, either from people or reading online, but I need to dig deeper if I want results. I want results, but I guess I'm hesitant with the new step. Do i want it to be easier? Perhaps. I should ask for help, but before that I need to find out reliable people who would help me. I am not afraid, rather uninformed. I shall keep looking (or at least talking about looking) for more ways to get to where I want to. 

Good enough is no longer an acceptable standard If I wish to accomplish something great.

An interesting information has been released: Census from 1940. I haven't looked at it, but I'm sure there is some interesting information to be extracted from how the country and people were 72years ago. Where would I be in 72 years? I will be 96. I sure hope to get there. 

Health Related Information:

http://www.superfoodsrx.com/superfoods/

Sidenote: Adults should do at least 2 hours and 30 minutes each week of aerobic physical activity at a moderate level OR 1 hour and 15 minutes each week of aerobic physical activity at a vigorous level

I love waking up next to Michelle. It energizes my day like no other. When I think of safe and comfortable space, I think of her arms around me, squeezing tightly, Oxytocin is rushing through me during out long hugs but I find it incredibly comforting that both of us as so physical. 

Not only does she make me laugh, she allows me to make her laugh, which is probably even more important than the former.

I spontaneously bought something for Michelle off Amazon. It's heavy and is used at the kitchen :)

April 1st Weekend

Whaddaya know about blowing out candles? I thought i did know as much as any other guy. Turns out, I can't just blow really hard at a small candle in a jar becase... well, because I'd get a face full of hot wax. Talking from experience here. Wax in my mouth, eyes, nose, hair. It was quite unpleasant though harmless. I had my eyes closed for a descent time for all the wax to harden so i can take it off, which wasn't an easy task. Oh how much will I learn in this life without realizing it. Let's hope my daily meditation helps me with daily battles. Of wax.

Since Michelle stayed in CT this weekend, we ventured to see few of our friends over a poker game and billiard. Even discussed future feast of home made dishes in the near future. Something of Chicken pot pie, scallion potatoes and Kahlua cake. It's just as good as it sounds only better :)

April First: Because my lovely girl endured  went through 4 vegetarian Mondays in a row, as a reward we went to Jones Vineard for their opening weekend of wine tasting, purchased few bottles of great wine, a rosemary bush, and yet again were serviced by our favorite wine pourer, casually chatted about wine and not so wine related topics. Looking forward to coming back for strawberry season (may-june) and blueberry season after that, pumpkin season in the fall and we'll probably grab a Christmas tree in the winter, since the farm grows all of these too. 

After departing from our wine session, lunch was on our minds and it was decided to head to ever-popular diner in Fairfield (always full of people = good food). We both had soup and she went with monte cristo sandwich as i enjoyed grilled salmon over spinach salad. 

At home, chores were waiting, but we tackled them with no problem with all the energy we've had. Went by pretty fast. Brushing cats was not too fun. The evening culminated with some spicy dinner of broccoli , water chestnuts and chicken. and TWO movies: "Meet Bill" and "The Living Wake", both were pretty entertaining but the latter one was quite a bit odd, which made it even greater.